Psychology of Relationships

Psychology of Relationships

You’re Working Hard at the Wrong Dating Problems

Seven structural fixes most people never think to make.

Dr. Gary W. Lewandowski Jr.'s avatar
Dr. Gary W. Lewandowski Jr.
Jul 02, 2026
∙ Paid
Carved by pressure, not effort.

You’re putting in the work. You’ve updated your profile, you show up to dates, you’ve read enough about attachment theory to teach a class. And yet here you are, still looking.

The problem probably isn’t you. It’s where you’re putting the effort.

Most dating advice is about presentation: How you look, what you say, how you c…

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