What to Say to (Kindly) Break Up With Anyone
Learn How to End Things with Clarity, Compassion, and No Drama
This is a paid post because it moves from insight into practice.
Inside, I go deeper with concrete examples, scripts, tools, and step-by-step strategies you can use to navigate dating and relationships more effectively.
There comes a time when you know the relationship is over.
Despite your best efforts, and an abundance of (false) hope, patience, and even denial, you’re ready to move on.
If you need to end a relationship right now, or soon, this article will obviously be SUPER useful. However, if you’re dating or plan to, being able to end a relationship with kindness is a critical skill to have. Here’s why: If you aren’t able to break things off, you’ll stay too long, and waste your (and their) time.
Successful dating is about meeting lots of people. Many of them aren’t your person. It isn’t always obvious immediately, which means relationships need to develop a bit before you realize it’s not what you want.
To date efficiently and effectively, you need to get good at ending things.
Yes, those conversations can be awkward, tough, emotional, or all of the above.
Ready to make ending things A LOT easier, while doing it with clarity and compassion? Here’s your complete guide:
The 3-part breakup formula: emphasize the good (preserve their self-esteem), own it (dampen defensiveness), clarity and closure (don’t soften with false hope like ‘we can be friends’)
The absolute best research-backed script I know of, based on research. Including: the exact words to use, the logic behind each sentence, and how to make it authentic
Handling questions, challenges, and backlash: when they ask what they did wrong, how to hold boundaries, and what to do if they get mean or manipulative
Why blocking people is kindness to yourself: the ‘gift of goodbye’ philosophy, setting boundaries during the conversation, and protecting your emotional access
Problem: We Don’t Like Ending Things
The thought of breaking up always feels hard.