The Flirting Formula: Science-Backed Strategies for Connection
Learn to flirt smarter, not harder.
This is a paid post because it moves from insight into practice.
Inside, I go deeper with concrete examples, scripts, tools, and step-by-step strategies you can use to navigate dating and relationships more effectively.
Flirting is a skill.
That's great news because, like any skill, it means you can learn to be a better flirter (Allemand et al., 2022).
Even if you consider yourself a natural flirt, you may not be as good as you think.
Research finds that roughly 3 out of 4 times people are flirting, the other person has no clue (Hall et al., 2014). In others words, flirting only gets accurately detected ~25% of the time. That’s a terrible success rate. It’s even worse if you’re a guy because females correctly identified male flirting only 18% of the time. We can’t even blame it on our subjective experience and “getting in our heads” because objective outside observers are even worse at accurately detecting flirting. All of this means that you may be flirting, but there’s a really good chance no one realizes it.
In the rest of this piece, I walk you through:
The scientifically-backed “flirty face” technique that boosted detection rates from 25% to 77% (with mirror practice tips so you nail it)
My 5-step flirting challenge that eases you from terrified to confident—complete with exact timelines so you actually do it
The specific touches, positioning, and body language moves that signal romantic (not friendly) interest
A bonus flirty exchange I’ve tested with 100+ coaching clients that works every single time.