When people find out what I do for a living, one of two things happen:
1) They ask questions about relationships, or
2) They share how great their own relationship is (which is sweet).
One of the most common ways people prove that they’re in a good relationship is sharing something along the lines of:
“We never argue.”
They say it with a great sense of pride and self-assuredness. Then, they pause…waiting for me to affirm what a wonderful job they’re doing and just how special their amazing accomplishment is.
But I can’t do it.
What they don’t realize is that I think never fighting as a long-term couple is more likely to reveal a flawed relationship, than a healthy one.
Conflict-free couples’ are ticking time bombs.
Yet, there is a persistent feeling that happy couples don’t fight. But it’s a false belief. The fact is, when couples feel that “arguing should not be tolerated” they’re less satisfied, more aggressive, and the female partners are more depressed (Foran & Slep, 2007).
There’s a better way…
The Quiet Before the Storm: The Conflict We Avoid
“I don’t want to fight.”
